Chatterbox Pub, Minneapolis, MN

The Chatterbox Pub is a quirky staple of South Minneapolis that for some reason or another is able to thrive on kitsch and it's brand of uniqueness even though neither are pulled off well. Having been more than fifty times, I recall when it was dubbed an "80's bar" and when you left all your clothes stank of cigarette smoke. After the smoking ban, the layer of smoke inside disappeared and the smell of sewage revealed itself. Following repairs to the restrooms that smell was replaced by that of their fryer, a smell that to this day will many times follow you home in your clothes.

The Chatterbox Pub may also have the worst layout of a restaurant in Minneapolis: in order to get to the dining room you need to go to the back of the bar and pass through a very tight hallway that literally divides the kitchen. It may also have the weirdest service in the area as nobody is responsible for any specific tables and all the tips are divided equally. In almost every visit, you will either be under-served or over-served. For example, it is common for someone stopping at your table to ask if you'd like anything to drink just two minutes after you gave your drink order to someone else. Alternatively, it may take a trip to the bar to get your tab after waiting 20 minutes for it.

If you hit the wrong night, you may be subjected to experience 'Music Bingo," which if you are not a participant is jarring: music is played until someone identifies the song's connection to a square on their bingo card then the DJ halts the music to announce this and the status of the game. It wouldn't be horrible if the volume wasn't sometimes ear-splitting, if one could hear a song or two without interruption and if they didn't pump it into the bar side of the pub where you can't even participate in the game in the first place.

The food at the Chatterbox is unique in the regard that flavor is consistently overboard. If there's a spice, they'll use five times as much as you'd expect. If there's pesto, expect your food to be drenched in it. I apologize for being crude, but their garlic cheese bread is so heavily infused with garlic that I've noticed the garlic clearly in my flatulence even days later.

Their pizza is confusingly described by their menu as "Seriously Awesome Pizza!! So Italian you'd think they created pizza." They have two "artisan" crusts, one of which is an "authentic Schiacciata," which they incorrectly describe as "savory thin, lightly crispy and flaky Italian flatbread." In reality, the crust is neither authentic Schiacciata nor their description. It is the opposite of crispy and flaky: wet and when held, droops so the tip of the slice points directly down and ingredients fall off. Their other crust, which is thicker, is described as a Focaccia with fresh herbs and roasted garlic. The garlic is certainly pronounced -- it is the same bread used for their garlic cheese bread. The easiest way to describe the texture is foamy. It's almost uncomfortably filling.

Crust aside, their sauce is quite good and even has a little bite. Their blend of cheese is decent and a bit more flavorful than your typical mozzarella topping. Pepperoni on a recent pizza I tried was spicy and fresh. Even though the toppings may fall off, eating this pizza with a fork and knife works well and overall it is tasty.

This is enigma that is the Chatterbox Pub: even though so many aspects can be quantified as negatives, the sum of those parts end up being a usually fun and enjoyable experience. Even though the pizza doesn't seem great, it's something that I always want to order again the next time I'm there. There's a certain vibe with the Chatterbox Pub that effectively turns its faults into part of its personality.

On top of this, there's no better place in town where you can play Super Mario Bros. or Castlevania on an original Nintendo Entertainment System around beat-up couches and drink a "Chatterbox Speakeasy Lager" or "Chit Chat Belgian White Ale," two of five of the Chatterbox's brews supposedly made exclusively by Schells in New Ulm made by Point Brewery in Stevens Point, WI. There's a great selection of board games as well a surprisingly halfway decent wine list.

I keep coming back to the Chatterbox Pub. I also continue to visit their newer locations: a converted Perkins Restaurant in Highland Park and the end of a strip mall in Linden Hills, both of which are quirky in their own ways as well. There's just something about the Chatterbox Pub that just works. I can't put my finger on it.

Chatterbox Pub
2229 35th St E
Minneapolis, MN 55407
612-728-9871