Ed Kohler earlier this week wrote about friends on Facebook and decided to disconnect from anyone on the service that wasn’t using a real name or used a real photo of themselves. I did the same thing, although I did keep a few people that didn’t have a profile photo yet.
I think a part of one of Facebook’s developer resources says it best:
The Facebook profile is the online representation of the user’s real world identity.
I don’t use Facebook as an alternate universe for real life, I use it as an extension to real relationships with real people. But some people site privacy concerns. I have a couple opinions.
My first opinion: if one wants to make fake profiles that hide your identity, there’s a ton of other services that are designed for this kind of flexibility. Having fake profiles on Facebook dilutes the quality of the service. It’s part of their terms of service and it’s why they will remove people with falsified names and fake profiles.
My second opinion: Learn about Facebook’s privacy settings. They’re extensive. I think the defaults are generally suitable for most people but the option is there if you are not comfortable.
My third opinion: Journalists have three magic words: “off the record.” It means that things that are shared verbally or through another medium do not get published. For the sake of argument, anyone that publishes photos and video (potentially of you) on Facebook could be considered a citizen journalist. If you don’t want photos of you doing certain things showing up on Facebook, tell your friends it’s “off the record.” I get asked all the time to “not blog about this” or “don’t post this photo publicly” and I always respect those wishes.
If I’ve removed you from Facebook, don’t take it personally. It’s just how I want to use the service: an online extension of real relationships with real people.
Comments 1
Well, call it an experiment…
This week I read both Mr. Kohler’s post and a mention you had made in reference to his words…both opinions made me think, “what exactly do I get out of these services?”
I initially opened my MySpace account with its only purpose being to serve as an auxiliary site to my blog. For many people it has become a great way to interact with friends, but for me the realization was that it was simply an outlet for me to collect band-spam…1000+ friends who I don’t know, y’know?
Despite my initial attempts to follow even the most compact group of friends on Twitter I failed at adding any worthwhile commentary to the day’s events…how many people really care that “I’m Tired”? It’s a great tool to follow your friends lives but when it comes down to it, if I’d like to take you out to dinner or see what Loomer is up to…chances are, I’m just going to call or drop an instant message.
But Facebook was, and for the past three years has been, an exception to my views on social networking. It’s allowed me to gain new real life friends, catch up with people I once knew way back when, and stay active with friends who are in different cities, states and countries. I started Facebook as an individual and have attempted (though occasionally failed) to maintain it as a branch of my personal life rather than an extension of my blog-persona, whatever that may be.
But now Facebook too had become something less fulfilling. With both your and Ed’s commentary in mind I went and looked at what it was Facebook was evolving into for me. In the past year I had begun to receive and (much of the time) accept “friend” invitations from people who had begun to follow my blog despite not know them as individuals. I was still able to use the service to interact with “friends,” roughly 80-90 % of which I actually knew, but in an entirely superficial manner - it was becoming a source of division between real life friends and myself rather than a means of bringing me closer to my friends.
So I quit.
I closed my Twitter account, my MySpace account and asked the kind folks at Facebook to delete any and all of my personal information from their database (which they did in a timely manner).
Again, call it an experiment…
I’m still around, got my email, my blog and my cell phone - I’m still going to read the blogs of my friends, leave comments and interact via email and instant messenger…but it is with doing all of this that I hope to take an active roll in growing closer to my Friends, not my “friends.”
Love,
Posted 05 Apr 2008 at 12:17 ¶Chris
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